Why you are best person to write your sympathy card message

So many of us struggle with knowing how to word a sympathy card message.  And that’s a shame because there’s so much help available, through sympathy card etiquette books and Internet sites and we ourselves have so many resources that we don’t give credit to.

Most of us, wrongly, think that we will fall short in knowing what kind of sympathy card message to write.  The truth is, that if we had the confidence, our instincts will tell us what to say. 

 
 If we speak from the heart then our message will come over loud and clear and that is essentially to say:I’m here
I support you
You’re not alone in your grief…

It’s a shame we feel lacking in our ability to choose the right words to say because after all, we have the advantage over card publishers.  What that?

Well, for starters:
We know who we’re writing for
We know the person they’ve lost
We probably share their pain
And we have that all important connection to the recipient: – a relationship.

No card publisher or card retailer can compete with that advantage.

Yes, its true that bought cards can convey a sympathy message clear enough – but actually, is that really enough in itself?  Is the message personal enough and will it connect with the reader?

If we want to get our sympathy card message right then we need to look no further than ourselves.  We should look at our own ability to speak the words that will bring comfort and add them to the appropriate sympathy card.

It’s tempting to look beyond our own heart to find a quick, perhaps detached solution to the problem.  Yes, books and Internet sites can offer help but might it not mean more to put something in your own words?  Wouldn’t a sympathy message hand written by you, from your heart, based on knowledge, love and a relationship with the individual, mean more than a bought card?

Of course if you really hit a blank and don’t know what to write, then you can choose words from a site to make up a special card and this will be really well.  But if you go to this much both trouble, do top and tail the message that’s included as standard and make it your own.

Add a personal comment to demonstrate your support and include a personal sentiment to show your connection to their grief.

Naturally at times like these people often search for the right words, convinced that their lack of understanding on sympathy etiquette will let them down.

But honestly, given your genuine concern and affection, which encourages you to look into what to write, trust your own awareness of what is right.

You won’t be found wanting.  Trust your instincts. You will be able to write just the right sympathy card message at the right moment.
 

Written by Geraldine Jozefiak
Craft Expert and Demonstrator

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