How to write a sympathy card

There are rules on how to write a sympathy card that follow certain rules of etiquette. Knowing them will make it easier for you to convey your genuine condolences.

It’s important that you send your card as soon within early days of receiving the news.

Choosing the appropriate words to write can be challenge, but as long as you show your sympathy for the family and acknowledge their loss then you won’t go wrong.

Remember that we each grieve in a different way and saying something such as "I know just how you feel." or "Time heals all wounds." is not appropriate.

Write genuinely, in a few sentences or less what the loss of this person means to you. It’s important to keep your message brief and to the point

Such phrases as "Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father." Or "Please accept my condolences on your loss". These comply with sympathy card etiquette.

If you can , include a personal memory that you have of the deceased. This will help you to speak more from the heart and offer some comfort to the bereaved.

 If on this occasion you did not know the deceased personally, you could just say, "It must have been wonderful to have him (or her) in your life." Or just a plain " our thoughts are with you"

You may feel able at this stage to offer your support and help. Let them know that are ready to help out if required. You will know what help you can personally offer which would be appreciated.

You could say "Would it be helpful if I were to… " where you mention your practical offer of support.

When you sign your sympathy card it is recommended that you include your last name (eg. With Love, from Geraldine Jozefiak). This is because others in the family may read the card and if other card senders share your name, there may be some confusion.

Finally, if you did not know the deceased well – if they were just an acquaintance, address your letter or card to the relative you know best. If you knew the deceased well, you may address your envelope to their closest relative such as their widow or eledest child.

It’s recommended that your return address is added to the envelope before posting. This will help the bereaved family member to write to you later. Sympathy card etiquette suggests that your card is acknowledged, and this will help them, at this difficult time to respond to your message as quickly as possible after the event.

Keeping to  basic etiquette on how to write a sympathy card will ensure that your message of condolence is well received.

Written by Geraldine Jozefiak
Craft Expert and Demonstrator

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